Oltre la violenza. La poesia di Felicia Buonomo.

di Gabriella Grasso

Se esiste l’opinione che vede la poesia come espressione immediata e anarchica dell’impulso, del sentimento o, dal lato opposto, come codice avulso dall’esperienza comune, geroglifico di un mondo precluso a molti, un libro come Cara catastrofe le fa incrinare entrambe. Nella sua opera prima (per quanto concerne la poesia, essendo giornalista) Felicia Buonomo affronta un tema di scottante attualità ed un grumo di dolore pulsante, l’esperienza dolorosa del rapporto d’amore disfunzionale, asimmetrico, connotato di violenza. Lo fa con strumenti precisi, mai banali, quasi “chirurgici”, sia nell’aprire e mostrare le ferite che queste relazioni producono, sia, a livello formale, nel ricorrere ad una lingua aderente al suo oggetto, ma al tempo stesso evocativa, non meramente mimetica.

Il fenomeno è presente, in modo sempre più drammatico, nella vita di molti e nella cronaca quotidiana, e a questa urgenza di verità e di denuncia l’autrice non si sottrae.  Potremmo anzi dire che va oltre: nell’opera il tema assurge a paradigma dell’incomunicabilità o della distorta comunicazione di un’umanità fragile, spingendo il livello della riflessione ad un orizzonte più generale: “Aggrappata ai fragili rami delle mie paure, nelle intemperie del tuo vento, ti guardo oltre il fiume. Ci separano secoli di distanze, poggiati su una bilancia traboccante di tristezza”.

Ogni incontro che facciamo nel corso della vita racchiude infinite potenzialità: l’altro, come dice Natalia Ginzburg nel racconto I rapporti umani (da Le piccole virtù), “possiede una infinità facoltà di farci tutto il male e tutto il bene”. Il momento in cui si decide la direzione che quell’incontro intraprenderà non è unico e fulmineo, ma la sommatoria di situazioni che ci rendono quelli che siamo. Ed è cruciale, per ogni relazione umana: “Il mio errore è stato credere a una mano che si congiunge all’altra in preghiera supplicando l’amore, il mio. Il mio errore è stato credere all’uomo”.

La materia della poesia scaturisce dall’acquisizione, da parte dell’autrice, di molte testimonianze, in varie parti del mondo. Vissuti complessi a cui lei dà voce, con un alto grado di empatia, ma anche con la lucidità di chi sa scandagliare, senza sconti e senza perifrasi, le pieghe della psiche e i suoi movimenti talvolta contraddittori, come indica la scelta del titolo e l’appellativo ossimorico di “cara catastrofe”, attribuito a quel rapporto che è gabbia e palliativo insieme, schiavitù e sicurezza.

L’autrice ci conduce così nella sofferta via crucis di un rapporto che si trasforma in violenza, dipingendone i sintomi sul corpo di chi ama: “Ti ho trovato nelle pieghe delle mie clavicole, / parte visibile di un corpo smunto dalla tristezza. / Ero stesa sulle mie paure, /con gli occhi aperti al dolore / e le braccia molli della resa”. Sono segni descritti nella loro evidenza visiva, ma che rimandano ad una dimensione più profonda: “Non è il tocco livido a fare male,/ ma il ricordo del suo alone. / Dormiamo insieme ogni notte, / ma è nella crepa che dovrai recuperarmi. / Fai piano, che anche la luce è dolore, /dopo la culla di un buio così violento”. Le parole si fanno sempre più taglienti e se ne avverte tutto il peso: “Ho un battito di polso fragile / per ogni percossa taciuta”.

La stessa lucidità ispira la descrizione di chi perpetra la violenza: “Anche l’ultima volta che mi hai amata avevi gli occhi rossi della rabbia e le mani forti che premevano sulla carne debole. Ho pronunciato il tuo nome per dirti addio con l’afonia della paura, lo sguardo di un cervo abbagliato dai fari. I segni rossi sul collo sono l’ultimo ricordo che ho di me”.

Ciò che viene subìto diventa marchio che segna a fuoco e attorno a cui si struttura l’identità di chi lo ha vissuto, in un giogo-circolo vizioso difficile da spezzare: “sempre confonderai il sadismo e l’amore / – dico, mentre lucido le catene a cui mi costringo”. E’ scattata la dipendenza, l’impossibilità di pensarsi in una dimensione diversa: ”E ora che nemmeno l’idea di te mi fa compagnia / mi sento orfana di desideri che non ho”. La violenza si consuma nel silenzio di case che non comunicano, di una società sorda, anestetizzata: ”I vicini di casa hanno sentito il mio dolore / e – come tutti – lo hanno ignorato. / Non so nulla delle pareti delle loro case”.

Spezzare le catene, però, non solo è possibile, ma salvifico. La voce che parla in questi versi ci fa intuire un percorso di aiuto, una persona che tende una mano, nonostante la ritrosia della vittima: ”Ho detto a Jessica / che quel test di valutazione del rischio ha una falla. / E che il modo in cui accarezzo / il mio martirio / è la prova dell’errore. / Non si può portare una donna fuori dalla sua colpa”. Il primo passo è prendere coscienza, guardarsi dentro e vedere anche lati di se stessi che il dolore rivela: “Il mio sguardo su di te era un punto di sutura, / su ferite che non sapevo di avere. / Che fanno male, ora”.

Recidere il legame significa dare un nome alle cose e indossare abiti nuovi, sotto una carne che non dimenticherà le sue ferite: “Indosserò / un abito di ferro colorato, / lacrime di ruggine /  e carezze solide, / per svanire nel miraggio / che ci tiene stretti / a una falsa idea di felicità”.

 

 

Alcune poesie

 

Da quando ti ho incontrato

la mia vita

procede per sottrazione.

Mi hai portato via

l’amore per l’amore,

la fiducia verso la parola,

la complicità di un abbraccio.

E anche questi immeritati versi

aggiungono alla tua vita

la bellezza di cui mi privi.

Ora mi vendo a buon mercato

nella piazza della tua rivoluzione.

Mi conto come unica ferita.

 

*

 

Oggi ho preso ad amarmi come fai tu:

con la ferocia del disgusto

come un insulto figlio dell’alterazione

un cucciolo rinnegato

il difetto gettato dalla rupe.

Nei secoli dei secoli. Amen.

 

*

 

Mi domandi cosa sia la colpa,

se non questo incedere verso l’abisso

delle cose certe e ignorate.

Hai lo sguardo di chi vince la guerra

del dominio interiore,

io di chi partorisce invidia di viscere.

Mi stendo sul letto della sconfitta,

guardo il soffitto delle parole scritte per te.

Mi dici che alzare gli occhi al cielo,

movimento di collo, diventa peso di spalle.

Non è la stessa direzione quella che conta, per te.

 

*

 

Mi sei venuto dentro per rendere

gravida la mia dipendenza. Perché la paura

diventi figlia del nostro amore.

La porto in grembo

con la colpa di una madre degenere,

che mantiene in vita la sua creatura

nutrendosi delle tue bastonate,

che mi fanno il male che merito.

 

*

 

Ti devo il tormento di una tempesta,

una rosa inchiodata al muro,

il tintinnare di parole taglienti,

la solitudine della mia tristezza mentre ti guardo

e ti domando della bellezza dei fiori.

Vorrei sapere dove cercarti

quando un giorno prenderò quel treno

per non tornare.

 

 

 

 

 

Tre domande a Felicia Buonomo

 

D: L’equilibrio dei toni e delle scelte lessicali, nella tua poesia, quasi contrasta con l’incandescenza dei temi. Quali riflessioni e quali scelte hai fatto, dal punto di vista linguistico, durante la scrittura?

R: Proprio per l’incandescenza dei temi che ho deciso di affrontare in versi in questo mio lavoro poetico, ho voluto ancora più concentrarmi sull’essenza delle cose, come ci ricorda Marina Cvetaeva – che ha contribuito fortemente alla mia formazione letteraria. La poetessa russa sosteneva: «Come posso io poeta, persona dell’essenza delle cose, farmi sedurre dalla forma? Io sono sedotta dall’essenza, la forma arriverà e arriva. Io sono sedotta dall’essenza e poi incarno. Ecco il poeta». E la forma di fatti arriva, ma senza incanalarsi nella dicotomia serrata tra significato e significante. La poesia che amo è la parola che ti aspetti, che evita di girare intorno. Ma – come dicevamo – non si è solo poeti, la poesia la si fa. Come scrive la poetessa Isabella Leardini in “Domare il drago” il lavoro che fanno i poeti è di «scegliere un’immagine e non un’altra, rinunciare a una parola perché un’altra abbia più peso». Il movimento, il ritmo linguistico di questo mio tentativo di poesia segue questa sequenza: essenza-immagine (poetica)-parola-scelta/sostituzione. Scegliere parole, in parte anche abusate, come “tristezza”, “dolore”, “tormento”, “massacro” all’interno dei miei testi rappresenta una scelta di precisione rispetto ai temi affrontati, che ruotano intorno alla semantica dei sentimenti di colpa e punizione, in quel rapporto vittima-carnefice che tento di narrare al lettore. Non potrei mai usare, in poesia, parole che “normalmente” non userei, sarebbe violare la mia scelta di onestà. Il lettore attento lo percepisce quando sei stato disonesto.

 

D: Quanto della tua esperienza di giornalista è confluito nella stesura di questo lavoro?

R:La mia esperienza di giornalista è stata il punto di partenza. Nella seconda sezione della raccolta, in particolare, vesto i panni della testimone, traslando in versi alcuni universi di violenza e dolore di donne che ho incontrato, in alcuni casi direttamente, altri per interposta persona, nella mia professione di giornalista. Mischiando personalismi rispetto al modo in cui si può entrare, empaticamente, in contatto con alcuni moti interiori. Ho da sempre un’ossessione tematica, ovvero i rapporti umani disfunzionali, fatti di mancanza di cura, malattia, disperazione, solitudine. Nella mia professione di giornalista, anche narrativa, racconto storie, entro nella vita delle persone. L’Altro è un concetto fondante per me. È per questo che lo “racconto”.

 

D: Perché questo titolo?

R: “Cara catastrofe” è il titolo di una canzone di Vasco Brondi, artista musicale che amo molto (e che cito anche in esergo). Credo che incarni in pieno l’universo emotivo che tento di raccontare con questi versi: una catastrofe che arriva improvvisa, improvvisa perché nasce da un’idea di perfezione a cui il carnefice ci abitua nella fase iniziale del rapporto, e che finisce col diventarci indispensabile, cara, anche quando la perfezione diventa violenza e abuso emotivo e/o fisico. La “contropartita” della violenza è la dipendenza affettiva, in molto casi. Non capire quanto alla persona abusata possa diventare cara questa catastrofe, significa giudicarla. Non a caso ho dedicato molti dei miei versi al concetto della colpa, sentimento provato non dal carnefice ma dalla vittima. Comprendere quanto cara arrivi a diventare la catastrofe di una violenza spero posso aiutare a superare uno dei tanti stereotipi che ruotano attorno a questo macro-tema.

 

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